Edit: Baby please don’t go to my other site unless it’s really obviously you or you just genuinely want to look, I’m running an advertisingg campaignnn on there on pinnnnteret. I am going to get hundreds of people to my site or maybe thousands so please understand.
I’m the same.
Except I’m in constant fear.
I’ve thought long and hard about it, When I met you I wasn’t afraid of anything.
Now I’m afraid of everything, you can hear it in my voice. A tenor that wasn’t there before.
So is this what you meant below ? Or that you don’t recognize me. Life has made me realize we are not, and will never be separate bubbles floating self contained when in love or while spending time together. You changed me. You change me when I’m near you. I’m the me, that I am now without you. I am a different person when I’m with you. A whole ingredient on its own is nice ..But a whole ingredient isn’t a whole meal. Like sugar and butter make cookie dough. And cookie dough is infinitely more interesting together. But no you are not here. And life reminds me of it, in all the ways that are sometimes glaringly obvious. I don’t think you realize how much better I felt around you than anywhere else. But have to fight my depression. I have to fight against anything that makes me feel hopeless or scared. Possibly my adrenals are still crashed out from that medicine. And weeks of staying home in bed because of my toe. Either way I’m still the same person. We still have a secret way of talking. I still love you. I don’t hold any grudges. I just want to feel good again. I just want to feel happy and safe again. I’m just one ingredient. Thats the worst annology but it’s the only one I can come up with. Our love is like two ingredients rendered unrecognizable after we are together: all mashed up together and turned a different color,
Meanwhile I can just look at the below and sigh and wonder if that was all for me.
